I'll Get There

Eventually I'll remember to blog every day (or at least every other day) but until then the random postings will have to do.

Where to start…and fair warning that this is going to be a complaining post…

People. I think that people have gotten progressively ruder and more self-centered as time goes on. Gone are the days when someone asks you how you are and then actually waits to hear the answer. I feel like the past few times someone has asked me how I am, by the time I'm ready to answer their back is already facing me and they are on to the next person. Why even bother to ask at that point? Part of me would like to say something absurd as the answer like "Mary had a little lamb" or "The sky is yellow" and see if anyone noticed. My guess is no.

Another issue is that people are down right rude now a days. I'm so tired of people saying "Oh I'm not rude, I'm sarcastic." Um no, you're rude. Being sarcastic doesn't mean you attack someone verbally or insult them and then just say, I'm being sarcastic. That isn't sarcasm, that's rudeness. There is a difference. If someone doesn't "get" your sarcasm, that is probably because you're not being sarcastic. Don't tell me that I don't understand "your" sarcasm because I'm offended with what you said. The reason I don't get your sarcasm is because you aren't being sarcastic. Or if you say something and then realize it offended me and you try to save it and take back the statement by saying you're being sarcastic, it's not going to work. We both know you're lying and you aren't fooling anyone. Let's move on.

With facebook and twitter people have forgotten how to interact with people face to face. Everyone is so used to having a cellphone or a computer between them and an actual person, that they feel like they can say anything. We teach kids in school to be nice to one another, and to not say everything that you think out loud. I've realized though that as adults that seems to go out the window. I'm all for being able to say what you want, but there has to be some type of common courtesy. When I was teaching, the kids used to say something hurtful and then after it say "no offense." Every time I would tell them that if you have to say "no offense" at the end or at the beginning of a statement, don't say it! It is clearly not nice and chances are it is going to hurt someone. Now adults are doing that too?!? Disappointing. We need to go back to the saying, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Seriously, don't.

Sooooo why did I write this post? Here's the problem, all this has taken a toll on me and I realize it more and more every day. It sucks. I hate it. I wish it didn't effect me, but it does. I've become jaded about people. I've built huge walls (imagine hoover dam size walls). I act like peoples words don't bother me. I act tough. And then eventually, I crumble into pieces by myself. Then the next day I have to put myself together and act like I'm fine. It's exhausting. Truly exhausting. We are trying to stop bullying in schools, only to have adult bullies now. It needs to stop.

So keep your rude "sarcastic" thoughts to yourself and grow up. Be kind to one another and not hurtful. We are all just trying to survive in this world, and it is hard enough without someone trying to bring you down the entire time.

Lets Try This Again, Shall We?

When I first started this blog I had good intentions to become one of those girls who loves to blog and has a huge following on her blog. Clearly though, that did not happen. 

However, I'm willing to try it again. And you know what? Even if my blog does not become popular, and even if it never has a single follower, I'm going to continue doing it...for me. 

I think that at first I had the wrong approach to blogging and that is why it didn't work. I was writing for other people. I was writing to entertain. I was not writing for myself. But realistically isn't that who a blog is for….yourself. I'm going to talk about what I want, when I want and how I want. It's going to be about random things that happen in my life, or just random things I'm thinking about on that day. If it happens to entertain people, then that is just an added bonus my blogger friends. 

So on to the topic for tonight: Relaxation

Growing up I was fascinated by thunderstorms. I loved watching the lightning from a window in my parents house or from the backseat in a car. I found it incredible that something so powerful can come from those fluffy clouds in the sky. And even though I am not incredibly religious and still question a lot of things based around religion, there is a part of me that still questions whether the thunder and lightning is Gods way of saying he is angry. There is truly nothing like a good thunderstorm to make you realize how small a part you play on Earth and even in the universe (deep thoughts, I know). Growing up I wanted to be a meteorologist. I was constantly tracking storms and watching weather shows on television. But this love for thunderstorms disappeared some time during college for some reason and all of a sudden I became terrified of them. I'd cling on to the guy I was dating and be almost brought to tears from lightning. I don't know what changed and I don't remember any specific incident that would cause such a fear, but it was disappointing. 

Recently, though, I've realized that that fear is disappearing. I'm finding myself glued to the window again watching the storms. Like tonight. The lightning I've seen tonight is some of the most incredible and beautiful stuff I've ever seen. Now you may be asking why I said the topic was relaxation and how in the world does this relate. I'll tell you. There is something weirdly calming about watching a storm and the lightning. It's almost like a movie you get to watch and there is no plot that you have to follow or pay attention to. You just get to take in the sights and sounds. After a stressful day today, I was so happy to hear the distant roar of thunder tonight. It's relaxing. It's simple. It's natures idea of a movie. So next time there's a storm coming here is my suggestion: Pull up the blinds. Pull up a chair. Pour a glass of wine. And watch the show. And if you don't like complete silence put on some relaxing music (my suggestion: A Storm Is Going To Come by Piers Faccini) 

Stay dry and relax :-) 

Game Night: I Don't Think I Like This Game

Out of all my stories, my friends and I agree that this one is definitely in the top 5.

I had been seeing this guy for a few weeks and things had been going pretty well. We weren't in a relationship, but I felt confident that it was headed that way. One of my co-workers was having a game night and I decided to bring him. He was an instant hit at the party and all my friends kept coming up to me telling me how great he was. After playing BUNKO for awhile, we left game night and headed to a local bar to throw some darts with one of my girlfriends and her boyfriend. We had a good time, drinking, laughing, and there was even a little bit of PDA happening. Overall I’d say things were going pretty well. My girlfriend and her boyfriend started getting tired and headed out, while we decided to stay for a little longer.

Eventually we got a cab back to his place and started to hang out while watching a movie. He heated up pizza, which I ate, and he drank water and beer. I stuck with water. It started getting late and I was ready for bed. I went to his room and got into bed and began to fall asleep. He got in the bed as well, and turned out the lights and turned the TV on. I probably fell asleep around 2:30 and woke up at 5:00 then. (This is when I was getting up at 5:00am for work everyday so that is what my internal alarm was set to, unfortunate, I know.) I rolled over to find him not in the bed anymore. The TV was still on, but both he and his pillow were missing. I tried to figure out what could have possibly happened and why in the world he wouldn’t be in the bed. I decided I was tired and wasn’t going to deal with it and would just go back to sleep. 20 minutes later I was still awake. I just felt like something wasn’t right, so I figured I’d check it out. I opened the bedroom door and immediately heard his voice and a girl’s voice. I thought that maybe his roommate’s girlfriend had gone out to get water, but that idea changed when I then heard kissing noises. I realized this was a bigger problem than I first suspected. I slowly walked down the hallway hearing more kissing, and not knowing what I was going to see when I turned the corner. I walked into the living room to find both him and some girl butt ass naked and finishing up having sex. Awesome. He got up and was asking where his pants were, while she was pulling the sheet up on the pull-out couch and wrapping it around herself. He started joking that she looked like she was at a toga party, while I just stood there in shock. Finally I managed to pick my jaw off the ground long enough to say, “Well this is awkward.” One would think this would faze the naked couple in front of me. Absolutely not. They kept doing whatever it was they were doing and never acknowledged the fact that I was standing there or that I had said anything. I quickly went back to the bedroom; realized there was no time to change back into my clothes and just put my ballet flats on and my jacket. Threw my clothes into my purse and walked towards the door. They were in the bed cuddling by the time I got back to the living room, and I was shocked yet again. I said, “ (Guys name), can I talk to you for a second?” His response “Um I’m really tired and think I need to go to bed” and then proceeded to cuddle more with her. I had more urgency in my voice as I told him that I only needed a couple seconds of his time and I would like to ask him a question. The girl told him that he should just talk to me. He then said, “I guess we can go outside and talk if you really need to.” Um yes, I’m going to really need to, what an idiot. We get outside and he says, “So, What’s up?” What’s up? Whats up? Oh I just wanted to check and see who your pick is for the Superbowl. (Yes, it was around that time) What the fuck do you think is up? Of course I would have liked to say all that, but instead all I could get out was, “I’m a little confused as to what’s going on” Response: “Nothing really” The conversation continued like this:

Me: Um who is that girl??

Him: Don’t worry about it, it’s just my roommate’s friend

Me: Um I just don’t understand. We just hung out all night and then you bring over some girl while I’m sleeping

Him: Well um you like passed out for like 10 hours, I don’t know if you had too much to drink or something

Me: Um 10 hours hasn’t even happened, I fell asleep for 2 hours. You are like a totally different person right now

Him: I could say the same thing about you

Me: So did you just hang out with me to sleep with me??

Him: No I wouldn’t waste 3 weeks of my time for that

Me: Okay well that doesn’t make sense

Him: I think I need to go to bed

Me: Yeah I think I’m going to go

Him: You probably should

And go is what I did. I left thinking that this could not have possibly happened. Looking back, I’m sure there were a lot more pauses and stuttering in between but who can remember all that. Bottom line, this was shocking.

A few days later, I got an apology email from the guy. I told him that it was fine because it gave me quite possibly the best story anyone could ask for. I did wonder how the girl he called over could be so calm about another girl in his bed, and as it turns out he told her that I was his little sisters best friend who was staying with him. Overall, he is one of the classiest guys I have ever met. Needless to say, we never hung out again.

Who Is Jenna Kay?

Since this is a new blog I wanted to give you a little more background on who I am, Jenna Kay. Growing up I was the child who followed every rule that my parents gave me: the midnight curfew, not drinking alcohol, not doing drugs and dating nice respectable young men. I was content with this lifestyle, and although I wanted to rebel, I didn’t want to disappoint my parents, so I stuck to being the little angel. You see, this all changed as soon as I went to college. I learned there was more to life and I wanted to experience it all. The world didn’t go to sleep at midnight, people under 21 drank on a regular basis, marijuana wasn’t just for hippies, and honestly, there aren’t that many “nice” guys out there to date. My life needed to change, and it did in a major way. I believe that as soon as I walked onto my college campus I turned into what my friends would later refer to me as “a drama bomb”.

When it comes to dating guys, my mother has always said to date a nice respectable young man. He needs to make you laugh, have a future, treat you right, and be your best friend. Throughout high school and college I searched for this guy, determined that Mr. Right must in fact be out there somewhere. Every guy I brought home to my mother always seemed to have some sort of flaw. He didn’t smile enough, he was arrogant, he was going nowhere, and the list goes on and on. Ironically one of the prom dates she did approve of turned out to be a rapist when he went off to college, so maybe I shouldn’t have been listening to her opinion after all. Oddly enough, I’m still looking. I’m not exactly sure where he is hiding, but I figure that one day I have to find him, right? I look at some of my friends from grade school and high school who are not attractive but are married, and figure if they can find someone there has got to be someone out there for me. Dating is rough though, and I’ll be the first to admit that.

Let The Sexcapades Begin...

It seems like whenever you tell someone that you are single they immediately ask you if you have tried online dating. They proceed to tell you that one of their friends tried it and met someone fantastic and it can't hurt. Well let me tell you that I have tried it, and although it has never physically hurt, it is a painful experience. One of my first online experiences is something that I would like to forget, and after reading it you will see why.

I checked my inbox and saw a message from a guy that did not start with, "What up sexy?" or "You're hot". I was relieved and figured that this guy at least deserved a chance, so I looked at his profile. I examined the pictures and read his bio and came to the conclusion that he looked like an attractive and normal individual. We wrote a few messages back and forth, and the conversation seemed very natural. We exchanged phone numbers, and at one point had an hour long conversation, so when we eventually decided to meet I had high hopes that this might work. Unfortunately, I was wrong.

Let me start by saying that I am an extremely punctual person. I hate when people are late, and if I say I am going to be somewhere at a certain time, I'm there at least 10 minutes earlier than that. So when I set up a date with someone and we decide on a time that works for both of us, I expect you to be there at that time. Apparently this guy did not feel the same way, because he decided that he was going to arrive 25 minutes later. When he finally arrived I had been waiting outside in the heat (If you've been to DC in July you know the heat and humidity I was dealing with) for over 25 minutes, since of course I was early. This was a bad start. The hello was awkward, and even more awkward when I realized that he looked very different from his pictures online. I felt it would be rude to point this out, but could not stop thinking that he must have put the best 3 pictures he has ever taken on his profile. Regardless I decided that I could handle having a drink with the guy, because honestly, who turns down free alcohol.

We were having our drinks and having the normal chit chat when he said, "A few months ago you would not have recognized me." I wanted to say that I didn't recognize him now, but figured I would be better off just asking why. He proceeded to tell me that while he was watching a hockey game he was hit in the face with a puck. The puck shattered his face, and he had to have numerous surgeries to fix the damage. Now don't get me wrong, I feel terrible for the guy and that is awful to have to go through, but on the other hand, you probably shouldn't post pictures "pre-accident" online, when you look completely different now. I feel like that is slightly misleading.

As it turns out, in person we did not have that much in common, and it was obvious on my end that there was no romantic connection. I say on my end, because when it came to the goodbye it was clear that he felt differently. He asked me if he could give me a kiss. I said no followed by the ever so popular saying, "I don't kiss on the first date," which really is just a polite way of saying I have no interest to kiss you. He started to beg and plead for a kiss, and I stood by my answer, no. He asked for a hug, and I agreed to that because I've never had a bad hug, well up until that point. Apparently his hug was a sneak attack for a kiss because as I went to hug him, he planted a big one on my lips. I was horrified. I wiped my mouth and got in my car.

As I drove away I received a text.

It was great meeting you. I had a great time. That was a good kiss even though you don't kiss on the first date ;-)

What??? I didn't even kiss you. You attacked my lips with your lips. I never wrote back and thankfully never heard from him again. I should have never tried online dating again, but of course once was not enough but those stories are for another day.

~Jenna Kay

Welcome

I'll warn you now that I have never written a blog before, so until I get the hang of it things could be rough. So who am I? I'm Jenna Kay, a 28 year old serial monogamist. However, I am not single for a lack of trying. Trust me, I've tried it all...well pretty much. I have yet to go on the Bachelor or any TV dating show, but online dating, speed dating, meeting people in bars, friends setting me up, can all be checked off my list. From gigolos to MLB players, from Real World cast members to the super religious, there is pretty much nothing that surprises me anymore when it comes to dating. I've been there, done that, and I have all the stories to prove it.

One of the characters, Penny, from my favorite TV show, Happy Endings, said it best: "It's just a bunch of poor guys with weird sexual stuff and even when you do it they still don't call." Well said Penny, well said. It's tough out there, and I think all single women agree. I'll admit that at some point I would love to get married and have a family, but given my experiences in the dating world it is not surprising why I am still single. My friends have been begging me for years to write about my dating life because quite frankly, it's ridiculous. So here it is. You're welcome.